Is there a leadership cult that creates successful leaders?
Narration of leadership brand evolution
I was in Grade 6 when our school announced the dates for the School Captain election. We all knew it was going to be a tough year for the school as we were competing with our rival school in both athletic and academic events. We all agreed that we needed a Captain who would lead us with true conviction to succeed.
My friends introduced me to a tough and rugged boy from Grade 10 who was running for School Captain. We were mesmerized by his assertive and commanding nature. We believed that to be a true reflection of leader’s confidence. Through history books, we read about leaders who were a symbol of strength and power. We saw that in him and we were conditioned not to question what the legacy told us to believe. I am sure my peers at school equally fell for his heroic appearance and his bold articulation that exhibited his conviction to make our school shine. Without a doubt, he was elected the school captain of that year. We all soon became his passionate followers. We trusted his leadership abilities and truly believed that’s how a leader should act. Our undeterred trust, along with our teenage infatuation, led us to unfriend those who would question his leadership abilities. Overtime, I told myself that his style of execution is the leadership brand that I should emulate in order to be successful.
My leadership brand remained loyal to our School Captain until I graduated. I held various leadership roles during the course of my freshman and sophomore years. I was successful in most of my roles, however I failed terribly in a few. But my leadership brand did not change. I feigned being tough and assertive hoping that would portray confidence in the various roles I held. My conviction and determination for the people I lead was a reflection of my School Captain. On instances when my leadership failed, I did not question if that’s a consequence of my inherited leadership style.
It was in my early years of my corporate career, I was questioning if my leadership brand is still relevant for the time and age. Not because my then leadership brand was failing me, but because I was attracted to a leader of different demeanor.
It was in mid-2008, I started following Mr. Barack Obama’s presidential campaign. Obama’s charisma was no different than my School Captain’s. But with my age, came wisdom and I was very pedantic about the characteristics of the leaders I was willing to follow.
People adored Obama for his conviction and persistence to make America better. In retrospect, I don’t think those were the characteristics that drew my attention to Obama. But there was something in him that made me question my leadership style and if I was making a positive impact on the people I am leading.
Obama was more personable than most leaders I have read or followed. He aptly portrayed himself as the leader of masses. He spoke about the challenges of a common man, as a common man. He practiced situational leadership style, one that exhibits democratic and autocratic leadership, based on the situation a leader is supposed to be addressing.
In the early 2000s, corporate leadership took a different spin. It was no longer considered as a glorified role.
Leaders were suddenly expected to be a true representation of the people they lead — not by virtue, but by action.
Open door policies in corporate offices started becoming a norm.. Leaders were reachable through multiple channels and they took questions from employees of all ranks. This change in corporate leadership was seen as a sudden twist to early millennials like me who were trained to look upon leadership as a role exhibiting autocracy and authority.
As I continued to follow Mr. Obama through the early years of his presidency, I could clearly see an involuntary transformation in my leadership style. I reframed my style and tone of communication to exhibit a sense of empathy and understanding.
I grew sensitive to people’s needs — both personal and professional. It helped me create an intrinsic connection with the people I worked with every day.
Over time, it became acceptable to chat to an employee about their family. It was acceptable to check on people when they are on extended leave. It is no longer considered as a breach of privacy, it is only seen as a leader genuinely interested in the people around her.
I slowly started to blend my leadership style from what I learned in the past and what I am learning now. Assertiveness and conviction from my school captain, along with feeling and showing a sense of empathy that I learned from Obama. That blended leadership style resulted in a perfect mix of leadership characteristics.
Research states that human beings experience mid-life crisis — a phase that is an emotional roller coaster trying to rediscover one’s identity and self-worth. Mid-life crisis is associated to marital, parental and aging factors that contribute to the added stress and people delve deeper to find the purpose of their existence in this world. There is little research on how leaders struggle with mid-life crisis and question their leadership brand and their purpose to the people they serve.
I was no different, I experienced these challenges and in my scenario it appeared in a shape and form that is very unique and applicable to my gender. On becoming a mother, I experienced an inner conflict of my leadership and parental attributes. I started becoming less assertive and more compassionate. I was questioning if I am being uber committed on things that I should just let go. Instead of offering empathy to people around me, I was looking for empathy from people around me.
My school captain and Mr. Obama were no longer helpful role models. Their parental and social obligations were lot different than mine. Not because they belonged to a different professional network (By the way, my school captain is now a successful entrepreneur and is slowly gaining popularity in state politics), but because of how little they were expected to contribute to build a stronger future generation.
I was strongly holding to my leadership attributes that I have shaped and practiced over the years. In the process, I masked my inner fear and struggle to the outside world. I was once at my local book store picking a parting gift for one of my team members who decided to move on and experience the next big challenge of his professional career. I came across “Lean In” by Sheryl Sandberg. I didn’t think it was a good fit for my departing employee, but I was intrigued to read it myself to understand why Corporate America claimed Sheryl Sandberg to be an impactful leader.
I have to admit that the first few chapters were not very impactful. What she proposed, I was already doing, and my professional competence seemed to be a standing reflection of it. But there was a very subtle vulnerability that was implicit in her writing.
She was open and honest about the struggles that she went through in her professional and personal life. There are several instances in her book, where she talks about moments of fear and anxiety that she experienced. At the outset everyone saw her as a strong and committed leader. But they knew little about the stress and anxiousness she was experiencing as she was climbing the corporate ladder.
Since I have only known and followed assertive and strong leaders, I loved reading about the vulnerability Ms. Sandberg exposed through her writings. She was vulnerable about her challenges and fears that she experienced as a female leader in the corporate world. Being vulnerable was a strange mix in my leadership cocktail of strength, assertiveness and conviction. I tried hard to convince myself that being vulnerable did not make me less assertive, less committed or less empathetic. It only opened up an opportunity to express a more impactful leadership style. By being vulnerable to my peers and employees, I encouraged them to be vulnerable about their challenges and in turn we started looking out for each other in times of need. That built a strong camaraderie in the organization.
One of my mentees asked me the other day, “Who is the most impactful leader that you followed and learned from?” This article is a brain dump of thoughts that gushed through my mind when she asked me that question.
In order to practice and exhibit a leadership style that resonates with you and the people you lead, do not force yourself into a leadership cult. Build a leadership brand for you — one that will evolve with time and changing needs, one that will evolve with your wisdom, and one that will evolve with your experiences. If we bring back the great leaders from their grave, they might not be impactful leaders today. Because, leadership is an evolution and an art that needs frequent tuning. No single leadership brand or cult will answer all our leadership queries.
